A Son of God? Edit 1.0003 erthona, billy,leah,71deg

[tectak]

I really like it. It's a little obscure in places though. I get the meaning from your syntax that the east IS the sneaking thief who steals the ability to think away from sons who should be thoughtful? If not, and you do mean something more concrete, then the poem needs to personify this thief. What about..."the east acts like a sneaking thief" with a colon?
I love, no, LOVE!, the scansion crash at the end.

---

I'm putting "Slimptistic" on a T-shirt.

Hi leah still heah.
No. It does not say the east IS the thief. It says the east PROTECTS its thief....the thief is religion.
Thanks for your input. Always appreciated...I eat all crit.
Best,
tectak

I get that. But I didn't learn that the thief is religion from the poem, you had to tell me.

Here are some clues, in order
Mohammed, saints, faith,blessed, paradise,everlasting, love, gods, holy, glorify, lords, hell....yep, sounds like religion to me!
Best,
tectak