12-21-2014, 07:56 AM
makeshift,
I always appreciate anyone taking the time to comment, there is always some benefit even if no actually change is made, in your case, I think you have hit upon something that I need to change, but currently at a loss as to how.
I was thinking of the vanilla moon pies, I rarely ate the chocolate kind, and was not thinking about them (choc. MP's) at all when I wrote this.
"I almost want to know why the narrators mind is melting, I thought initially because of age, but it could be maybe they are just getting sleepy or maybe drugs IDK Idk"
As you say it does not matter, any view point will work here, although I did have a specific one when I wrote this, it specificity is not important. The important connection is between the "ice" pancakes melting and the melting of the speaker mind, as though memory is no longer functioning and the image can only be keep as long as the pancakes last.
Yes, it is rather silly, all just a practice in the tangential related to the picture, hopefully with enough of understated archetypes that it evokes something in most. Of course I do realize it is obviously from a male perspective, although that was not my intent. Oh well, the best laid plans of rodents and Fictional Characters...
Thanks again for commenting,
Dale
I always appreciate anyone taking the time to comment, there is always some benefit even if no actually change is made, in your case, I think you have hit upon something that I need to change, but currently at a loss as to how.
I was thinking of the vanilla moon pies, I rarely ate the chocolate kind, and was not thinking about them (choc. MP's) at all when I wrote this.
"I almost want to know why the narrators mind is melting, I thought initially because of age, but it could be maybe they are just getting sleepy or maybe drugs IDK Idk"
As you say it does not matter, any view point will work here, although I did have a specific one when I wrote this, it specificity is not important. The important connection is between the "ice" pancakes melting and the melting of the speaker mind, as though memory is no longer functioning and the image can only be keep as long as the pancakes last.
Yes, it is rather silly, all just a practice in the tangential related to the picture, hopefully with enough of understated archetypes that it evokes something in most. Of course I do realize it is obviously from a male perspective, although that was not my intent. Oh well, the best laid plans of rodents and Fictional Characters...
Thanks again for commenting,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.