Oblivious

[Leah S.]

I've never been able to enjoy intellectual imagery, but I know that I am an extremely sensory person. Some poets are really good at it. My only suggestions would be to avoid overcomplicating them. Also, if you use an image, remember, the literal sensory folks are going to interpret it that way. So I get this image of a tiny pen tip resonating with a dance beat and making inkblots all over the place. Also "words intertwining with ardor" ......I couldn't help it, I kept reading it as "arbor." Sorry.
Also why are kisses always gentle and scents always lingering and lips always thrilling and inspiration always sparky? Methinks you have overburdened yourself with clichés.

On to nice things to say. It hangs together, it makes sense, it's poignant and heartfelt and it deserves for you to edit the heck out of it, because it has the potential to make the reader weep.