12-17-2014, 04:11 PM
Unfortunately, my post was deleted because it was insufficient, so I'll add up a bit more here.
Since this place is a poem workshop, the first thing that you need to determine is intention - what is it that you want to convey with this poem? Lets say you want to describe the livelihood of this woman poetically, you can start with bits of revelations progressing and culminating with an end stanza that offer a full picture of her character and circumstances. Yet unfortunately, the way your poem currently stand is - once again, like an incomplete opening chapter of a novel and not at all like a poem. While I'm certainly aware of the prose poem genre, this piece certainly is not one.
Quote:Like an introduction to a long story, that's how I view this "poem". I don't see any progression at all, only ritual description of a solitary woman and that's just about it. It's fine if this piece is an opening chapter of a novel, but for a poem, I'm not sure what to make of it.
Since this place is a poem workshop, the first thing that you need to determine is intention - what is it that you want to convey with this poem? Lets say you want to describe the livelihood of this woman poetically, you can start with bits of revelations progressing and culminating with an end stanza that offer a full picture of her character and circumstances. Yet unfortunately, the way your poem currently stand is - once again, like an incomplete opening chapter of a novel and not at all like a poem. While I'm certainly aware of the prose poem genre, this piece certainly is not one.