12-14-2014, 03:45 PM
Personally, I think this is great! I love it.
"deprived you of your mystic name
invent a god who´s far away
for to despoil you of your limbs
“make earth subject” as bible prints"
Is my favorite part. I really like what you're saying here. If it were me I would omit the "for" in the second line as well.
I think it would flow better that way, but other than that. I LOVE IT
"deprived you of your mystic name
invent a god who´s far away
for to despoil you of your limbs
“make earth subject” as bible prints"
Is my favorite part. I really like what you're saying here. If it were me I would omit the "for" in the second line as well.
I think it would flow better that way, but other than that. I LOVE IT