there seems to be a lot of words saying very little. the last stanza isn't too bad but the rest isn't to good.
(12-02-2014, 01:19 PM)Qdeathstar Wrote: Why write love letters,
why write love letters in November?
As fading ghosts to blow an ember? doesn't really work
Why face the rain,
why face the rain in sudden shiver? this and the next line feel foreign (not expressed well enough) to what i'm imagining is meant
As if looking for one lost forever?
I can't. no need for i can't as the reader can deduce the fact
It's all cold now, blowing strong.
The murmurs of rattling windows forewarn
a suffocating grey wetness reaching out through the treeline
to bang on shutters and howl at doors. in this stanza you have some imagery that lifts the poem, we can feel the cold, before that you just told of the elements.
Again too sick for December's creep. no need for again