11-30-2014, 11:23 AM
I feel like you've managed to reword a very generic theme here in a way that really captured me. In the beginning, your tone seemed suggestive, and innocent. Like an ordinary conversation. And in the second half, you sort of spiraled into some really powerful images and ideas, and then wrapped it all up nicely with a tone that sort of said, "I have given you the key, It's up to you to use it."
It was sort of like reading a brief essay on the glory of consciousness.
"All the resources of modern life at hand
Infinite choices, possibilities
Why choose something so simple, so clearly meaningless
As to spend time with menial tasks, attempting nothing to better your life
The lives of others
The world.
How can I be so ignorant?
How can you?
The universe is waiting
Feel the pull, the awe
Of the unimaginable complexity that sits dormant
Waiting for a discovery
A daring realization
That to hide behind the false sense of pride,
Of satisfaction with mediocrity
Is to further dismantle the ever evolving movement of ideas
Don't hide behind the sensational, embrace it
Incorporate the idea of infinity into your perspective
Encapsulate possibilities into thoughts
Into ideas
Into reality
Into a differentiated section of consciousness
A well of meaning no longer waiting to be tapped
Ready to destroy pointlessness with the tip of a thought"
The only problem I had was that you spend a lot of time talking about how much more incredible and inspiring our lives could be if we dissolved our menial tasks and turned our attention to this "something much bigger and better than our day to day rituals" but never really seem to deliver us to that fantastic thing. It was like listen to an orate pontificate, and then walking away feeling inspired by his choice of words alone, and not the message itself, being that there was no true message. Because perception reigns all, some would rather spend their time on a couch in front of a television than skydiving out of an airplane. But in that way, the poem could be a voice for those who WOULD prefer to add more excitement and value to their lives, but lack the necessary motivation to do so.
So actually, to that effect, the poem is very moving.
It was sort of like reading a brief essay on the glory of consciousness.
"All the resources of modern life at hand
Infinite choices, possibilities
Why choose something so simple, so clearly meaningless
As to spend time with menial tasks, attempting nothing to better your life
The lives of others
The world.
How can I be so ignorant?
How can you?
The universe is waiting
Feel the pull, the awe
Of the unimaginable complexity that sits dormant
Waiting for a discovery
A daring realization
That to hide behind the false sense of pride,
Of satisfaction with mediocrity
Is to further dismantle the ever evolving movement of ideas
Don't hide behind the sensational, embrace it
Incorporate the idea of infinity into your perspective
Encapsulate possibilities into thoughts
Into ideas
Into reality
Into a differentiated section of consciousness
A well of meaning no longer waiting to be tapped
Ready to destroy pointlessness with the tip of a thought"
The only problem I had was that you spend a lot of time talking about how much more incredible and inspiring our lives could be if we dissolved our menial tasks and turned our attention to this "something much bigger and better than our day to day rituals" but never really seem to deliver us to that fantastic thing. It was like listen to an orate pontificate, and then walking away feeling inspired by his choice of words alone, and not the message itself, being that there was no true message. Because perception reigns all, some would rather spend their time on a couch in front of a television than skydiving out of an airplane. But in that way, the poem could be a voice for those who WOULD prefer to add more excitement and value to their lives, but lack the necessary motivation to do so.
So actually, to that effect, the poem is very moving.