11-30-2014, 10:04 AM
I appreciated the theme of "intention versus impact" in this poem, at least, that's what I perceived. "But truth is a phantom, ghastly and grim, when his reasons are in-sanity" the in-sanity, for me, spoke of the personal truths that we hold and oftentimes inflict on others with conviction. And the presence of duality is strong, and clear, of what a man knows in his heart is right, but his nurtured virtues and capacity for reason (which is bias) coax him into betraying.
It's as though the heart represents what is quintessentially good, in the same way people are meant to turn to religion to find their virtues. Like doing what is right for the sake of doing it, rather than for the promise of reward. Here, goodness is its own reward.
I really like what you've created. I have some problems with "and not in his arms or legs," and think it would flow better if it were, "and not in his arms OR his legs," and I feel that would also add some emphasis to the idea that the heart is mightier than the sword. Where is it? Certainly not in his arms or his legs!
I'm sorry if this review sucks, I am new at this, but I'm trying, I want to get better.
It's as though the heart represents what is quintessentially good, in the same way people are meant to turn to religion to find their virtues. Like doing what is right for the sake of doing it, rather than for the promise of reward. Here, goodness is its own reward.
I really like what you've created. I have some problems with "and not in his arms or legs," and think it would flow better if it were, "and not in his arms OR his legs," and I feel that would also add some emphasis to the idea that the heart is mightier than the sword. Where is it? Certainly not in his arms or his legs!
I'm sorry if this review sucks, I am new at this, but I'm trying, I want to get better.