11-25-2014, 01:27 PM
I really like the den of thieves reference. I was not familiar with the book at first (as long as that was what you were referring to) but after some research, I felt like the reference fit in well. I agree with some of the below comments that the end rhyme you incorporated felt somewhat forced. I also was not too sure about the line "swallowing the toxins of this revelation". I don't really understand what the "revelation" that you are referring to is. Is it that the internet is not reality or that you are so dependent on it? I'm not exactly grasping what the specific revelation was. Maybe that was intentional though, just something to consider 