11-24-2014, 09:12 PM
I pray.
I breathe.
I feel the blanket of shame
Entrapped in a stunning stress break point
Layered from years of lies
Lies from the entangled mesh of a smile/frown
twist. (smile/frown twist? It would be better if you decide which one it is.
)
Years of forgetting that I have a voice. (Nice one)
Years of forgetting that I have my choice.
On my knees beneath His sky, I rise.
Refusing to regret one step in truth.
I turn around embraced by my Creator, my Father,
my God.(Turn around from/to what? Do you mean you are embraced after turning around?)
Unwrapped to my life-breathed face.
I know His voice, I feel my choice
I forget my pain and beat my heart.
Consume His Love forever light
My breast expands, a sanctuary, now.
I can forget, He has and did. (He has and did. It is bit confusing)
I live, the infinite - Heaven IS.
Nice message and subject. This poem is good for a first draft. There were some confusing parts, confusing to me. Hope it helped you in some way.
I breathe.
I feel the blanket of shame
Entrapped in a stunning stress break point
Layered from years of lies
Lies from the entangled mesh of a smile/frown
twist. (smile/frown twist? It would be better if you decide which one it is.
)Years of forgetting that I have a voice. (Nice one)
Years of forgetting that I have my choice.
On my knees beneath His sky, I rise.
Refusing to regret one step in truth.
I turn around embraced by my Creator, my Father,
my God.(Turn around from/to what? Do you mean you are embraced after turning around?)
Unwrapped to my life-breathed face.
I know His voice, I feel my choice
I forget my pain and beat my heart.
Consume His Love forever light
My breast expands, a sanctuary, now.
I can forget, He has and did. (He has and did. It is bit confusing)
I live, the infinite - Heaven IS.
Nice message and subject. This poem is good for a first draft.
There were some confusing parts, confusing to me. Hope it helped you in some way.