Janitorial Worker

[azure]

Thanks Azure,

I had originally had old in both line, which of course in line two would have been redundant. I meant to take old out of line two and leave it in line 1. I seem to have done the opposite. I had a better second line than I do now, but until I remember it, this will have to do.

Thanks for pointing that out.

dale

No problem. Thank you for your honest feedback on my poems! It means a lot, and your words have taught me much already. Now onto the edit. I think that the use of the word 'old' that has been moved to L1 is pretty decent now. 'Musty' rendered the piece with a certain stench that I liked, not a bad use of the senses to heighten the imagery. The edit read smoother than the OP.