no title yet (Edit 1)

[just mercedes]

I live by the ocean and walk the shore - now I can see people all over the world doing the same and I wonder if they all are poets. Or just other people coming to terms with loss. I do like the way you let the scene tell the story.



Flotsam

Lead my feet along your shore,
beyond my ebbing strength.
Trace the shadow of my life,
turn my footsteps inside out.
Your touch can cover all of me,
smooth away uneven indents,
remove all trace of barefaced toes;
the  bruises made by stones;
cast from self made thrones. I'd leave this stanza out - it tells me what you show me in the poem.


Draw me at dawn Great strong command - your reader is hooked
to seek your tides, to drown
in tear worn salted grains,
ride flood planes of layered pain,
come to rest in your deep embrace.
And I will rise again.

I will roam the silent coves, I'm being picky but want hushed or similar rather than silent
search the hidden inroads,
follow blood casts set in sand, these two lines tip over into overdone, for me -
place my nails in those cavernous holes,  leave them out
until [these faithless] my feet
are tested upon your water; on rather than upon feels smoother to me
can walk the waves , stand in the rage
and storm the depths again.
  
Sing over me your ocean songs.
I will arise and heed your call. no period, no cap in next line -let it run on.
For I am yours and you are mine. those last four words let me down a bit.
 



Undecided on the title...the title and the poem is perhaps all a bit predictable and as such tedious as a read...but I like beach / ocean images so it covers to things I wanted to convey - but it feels flat.