no title yet (Edit 1)

[tectak]

Flotsam

Lead my feet along your shore,
beyond my ebbing strength.Hooked on the opener. I am on the line. I only want to know who it is that you are talking to. The indeterminacy of third person "people" can be a little Agatha Christie if you leave character identity too long. We shall see
Trace the shadow of my life,
turn my footsteps inside out.Very nice imagery. Could be followed through?
Your touch can cover all of me,Well, and I mean that, we are talking fantasy lover here...if not, the metaphor is anthropomorphically the wide, wild ocean. I am undecided because you are, too.
smooth away uneven indents,Yes to this. The "inside out" works with "indents" to conjure up embossed or "raised" foot-prints. Some may say confusing. I am not yet confused but I am getting there.
remove all trace of barefaced toes;It only needs a comma or you will get nested semicolons and a list. Ooops. You have
the  bruises made by stones;
cast from self made thrones.OK. great relief. I am now confused. This is where the poem starts

Draw me at dawn
to seek your tides, to drown
in tear worn salted grains,
ride flood planes of layered pain,This is too much of a contrivance. You can do better than this. The metaphor of flood "plane" and "layers" is tempting, but get it behind thee. It just seems forced....and worse than that....it isn't.
come to rest in your deep embrace.
And I will rise again.Why "and"?...or more importantly WOULD you rise again. I am struggling with the rebirth metaphor. If I read this correctly I feel that the flotsam ( or more likely jetsam ) core is weakened  by the renaissance. I like your provisional title and can see why you struggled to arrive at it, but the idea of flotsam (ship wreckage that floats) just puzzles the metaphorical muse out'ta me. Jetsam, on the other hand, is tossed overboard and sinks awaiting salvage....is that not where you are?  

I will roam the silent coves,
search the hidden inroads,
follow blood casts set in sand,
place my nails in those cavernous holes,
until these faithless feetOnly a little nit...those and these...but it STILL makes sense.
are tested upon your water;
can walk the waves , stand in the rage
and storm the depths again.This stanza is powerful and I cannot fault it. It actually stands out. Is that a good thing?
  
Sing over me your ocean songs.
I will arise and heed your call.Hmmm. Well, all this bobbing up and down is not good for me. I think a cleaner, crisper run at the metaphor would help. As it is, there are just too many demands on the detective skills of THIS reader. Nonetheless, I have to say that you have written a pretty piece...but that last "for" is completely superflous.
For I am yours and you are mine.
 
Hi cider,
This is me liking it. I do think that you have got a little OTT with the "sounds of the sea" references...you know, sing, song, storm, waves, rage, depths, ebbing, water,coves, sand,tides, drown ,salt, deep....there is no etc, you have mentioned them all.
Best,
Tom


Undecided on the title...the title and the poem is perhaps all a bit predictable and as such tedious as a read...but I like beach / ocean images so it covers to things I wanted to convey - but it feels flat.