Servitude

[billy]

not sure you need any punctuation as your line breaks do a good enough job. the last stanza brings to mind the collect a rattlesnake day some cult or other enjoys, i liked the graphic of it.

First Edit

She
gnawed
upon the
quick,

and sucked
my
fingertip.

Such ruin
she vents,
her body bent

me
a servile
creature,
arched.

We writhed
and fucked

Tuesday
down the
drain. i like the way you see it as a wasted day, but wonder why such activity could be classed as wasted

I’m
three years
old again

swaddled
in rattlesnakes
praying.


Oringinal Post

She
gnawed
upon the
quick,

and sucked
my
fingertip.

Such ruin
she vents,

her body bent

me
a servile  
creature,
arched.

We churned
and fucked

Tuesday
down the
drain.

I’m
three years
old again

swaddled
in rattlesnakes,

praying.