The language of my body

[shemthepenman]

Hello,
Firstly before getting started, I would like to say that I really like the idea of this, unfortunately the poem itself didn't deliver for me. I didn't see much connection with language and the body parts (or even something unique like, the Logic of Sensation, seemingly mutually exclusive - the body, concrete and language, abstract). Also, why didn't you call it simply 'body language' or 'my body language'? I don't think I could have resisted that little, smug, self-satisfied, ambiguity of meaning.

Once again the heart has gained weight, - Ok, so I am only going to mention this one time... punctuation. This is a relatively good opening. It did make me want to read on. We're already mixing up stomachs and hearts, which is definitely interesting. One point, you use the definite article, as in 'the heart', but the title specifies that this is the language of YOUR body, so why not 'my heart'? Also, I don't think you need 'once again', it sounds too contrived and makes it all weak and floppy (:
It is waiting for a feeling that never comes, - yes, this is good. The first two lines together really express that sense of anxiety when the heart feels bloated.
The stomach hope that the moths, waking up in the shadow of my nervousness, will release their grip
The tear canals, holding the fort at all costs, hope to sometime be drained - These lines are far too long. Break it after moths, then again after nervousness, and again after costs, Having said that, i understand that there is an aesthetic element that you may be going for here; the long line rupturing the middle, etc. Also, moths releasing their grip just isn't a very good image, or at least not for me. And 'the stomach hope that the...' I assume there is a typo here and it should read 'the stomach hopes...' and even better would be 'the stomach hopes the moths...', minus the 'that'.
Other peoples self-evident footsteps, - yeah, I don't really get this bit. Why 'self-evident'?
bears witness of souls so calm, so confident - if we are to have 'self-evident footsteps [as insane as that sounds] then THEY are plural and therefore do not 'bears witness' to anything. It should be, 'bear witness...' oh, and isn't it always 'bear witness to' not 'bear witness of'?
Their peace of mind lies a thousand miles beyond me, - I must confess by this stage I had already lost confidence in the poem and the author. Yet, I still like this idea about 'everyone seems ok... I haven't got a clue' and so on. I mean it isn't the most original thing in the world to write about, but it beats fucking love any day of the week. Also, I couldn't resist 'piece of mind' here... I know, I feel dirty and need a shower just for even suggesting such a cheap trick; but in my defense, I think it genuinely fits better, it is just a pitiful coincidence about the pun.
Their hearts weigh a hundred pounds below mine - That is a very specific number, I wonder where you got it? Regardless, this last line is a bit of a mess. Do we say that X weighs below Y? or do we say that X weighs less than Y?