The language of my body

[Albatross]

Once again the heart has gained weight,
It is waiting for a feeling that never comes,

The first two lines are all right. Especially the first one.



The stomach hope that the moths, waking up in the shadow of my nervousness, will release their grip
The tear canals, holding the fort at all costs, hope to sometime be drained

I think those two at least sound interesting. Do you like those big sentence lines there, sectioned off by commas? The stomach hope, are you using stomach as an adjective? It sounds interesting, but it probably isn't meant to be like that. 

Other peoples self-evident footsteps,
bears witness of souls so calm, so confident

What about the commas here? and the s on the bear?


Their peace of mind lies a thousand miles beyond me,
Their hearts weigh a hundred pounds below mine

The last two lines are interesting too. Overall it's interesting. I don't know how much is intentional though. 

At first, thank you for taking your time to critique, I'm glad you find it interesting.
I do like those long sentence lines. The line about the stomach is, like those about the heart and the tear canals made to be out of the stomachs perspective, if that makes any sense. It is a way of describing the feeling of insecurity though "bodily" responses, and a wish for more confidence. The last lines further express a wish for the confidence everyone else seem to have, but which the "owner" of the body lack.

Im not sure about all the commas and when to use them, i have not written a poem before so i will have to research that. The s on bear is a grammatical error, it is not supposed to be interpreted as the animal "bear" in plural.

Kind regards