11-05-2014, 09:11 AM
Aw, cute!
Love "it's been a polar bear of a day," very unique and fitting.
I would just mention where exactly you scraped the blubber from - a walrus, maybe? Also, I would get rid of the dash after "night -" It feels better to me having either a comma there or nothing to help with the flow, as the dash makes it seem abrupt in a way that I feel detracts from the poem.
Love "it's been a polar bear of a day," very unique and fitting.
I would just mention where exactly you scraped the blubber from - a walrus, maybe? Also, I would get rid of the dash after "night -" It feels better to me having either a comma there or nothing to help with the flow, as the dash makes it seem abrupt in a way that I feel detracts from the poem.