Night and Day

[ellajam]

Hi, dri, welcome.

But don't you think I have a purpose to the choices I made with this poem? It's not as if I just hastily typed in a first draft without any revisions of my own.

We have no way of knowing whether a poem posted has had 5 minutes or 5 years invested by the poet, readers critique from their own reaction to the poem.

If you feel this is finished and you are not interested in getting suggestions I can move this to another forum for you, just let me know.

Thank you for all the input.
I find it interesting that each of you were so eager to call out cliches like human fire alarms, as if their presence is a danger or sin. You realize there's a reason things become cliche don't you? Certain ideas feel right together and so enjoyed by the people before us. It is not wrong to employ for myself a topic that other individuals before me explored. Cliches carry a history of captivation and through large favor remained a source of fresh inspiration. Instead of casting them aside, using the power and influence they hold to sway the perception of the audience is a much better solution.
I wanted to discuss night and day, so it made sense to use the words night and day. Sure, if my goal was to be supercilious and obfuscatory I could talk in circles fixing metaphors to haughty vocabulary and give it some title that would make a good band name. But don't you think I have a purpose to the choices I made with this poem? It's not as if I just hastily typed in a first draft without any revisions of my own. I use simple language because I want everyone to be able to enjoy my poetry, and being able to get my point across clearly and easily is important to me. Should I even point out how your repetitive displeasure for cliches betrayed your propensity to embody them?

Your views on cliche are interesting and I'm sure they'd make for a lively discussion topic. Feel free to start a thread in Poetry Discussion, you clearly have strong views about it.

Again, welcome, ella/mod