10-28-2014, 03:33 AM
(10-13-2014, 05:53 PM)b.abraham Wrote: December 17, 5:30amI would love to see more context of the dialogue. Maybe more clues to setting. "Clean flannel sheets/ and a favorite mug" these lines were a great way to paint a picture using the connotation of the audience without adding much length.
A voice from upstairs
says "good morning" < You may want to capitalize good
and it will be.
Glide up stairs,
say "good morning" < again capitalize
and it will be.
Hear "I love you"
and "I missed you". < I anticipated a third line and its absence threw me off somewhat
Be loved and love
clean flannel sheets andand a favorite mug.
Be loved and lovelove and "I love you"
and "I missed you" and "good morning"
and it will be.
the heart and mind through hands combined
to bind my soul within each line
to bind my soul within each line