10-26-2014, 07:17 PM
i agree with what the previous post, Ray, said about :
"Briefly, the entity...Back to the pit"
Maybe using a different image to portray the "twin black pearls" or offer a note about your meaning at the end of your poem.
i like the caesura you used with the "Fump.." of the heart.
Good writing!
"Briefly, the entity...Back to the pit"
Maybe using a different image to portray the "twin black pearls" or offer a note about your meaning at the end of your poem.
i like the caesura you used with the "Fump.." of the heart.
Good writing!