Ants (Mwaba Don)

[J.M.Byrnes]

Ants, architects of complex colonies,
their size tizzing to a man’s ego Curious about tizzling too.
for one to stop for a moment in wonder the structure of this sentences seems off.
to learn from their ways of work.

On sight for the whole period of watch, not sure what this means.
move continuously through the colony
like blood passing through the heart with
their gatherings raised above their heads.

Endowed with some sort free spirit
they tear up leaves,climb walls
toil on and underground, hastily
feast on hovering birds and fowls that die. Maybe just "feast on fallen birds?" Why birds and fowls?

Dazzling to see them move in line as thou though
programmed with robotic instruction I think this conflicts with what you said about "free spirit."
yet they have not the glorious presence of
a flag carrier like that of a military parade. That's kind of an odd "reverse" simile -- not sure that's working.

I agree that a more up close perspective would work better. The other approach might be to keep it more distant, more workman-like to reflect the activity of the ants -- but I think you'd have to make a clear choice between the two.