In Autumn, 11:30 P.M.

[billy]

hi coy and welcome to the site, great to see a newb giving good feedback. :J:

the meter fails in a couple of places and you repeat certain words that don't seem to be refrains. a suggestion would be to change one or the other in instances when this occurs.

some good images. it's good that you allow the title to do a lot of the work; it does connect well to the images. 
of night/dark and damp

Every step's a pitter-patter, i like how this line evokes autumn at the very onset of the poem
merging with the crickets chatter. cricket's
Water sighs its murmured hymn, feels like your a foot short neter-wise
surrounding stones always give in. this worked after a few reads, i see an image of water worn stones in a stream

I trek above the vales high here it reads that the vales and not you are high, a suggestion would be [Above the vales I trek on high] which would keep the meter and rhyme
and smile at an orange sky, i get the feeling you're saying smy al here in order to fit the meter, can it be said another way.
where afterglow has left its mark;
it pleads the world to stray from dark. this reads as weak for me

And this is when I make my stop,
to watch night eat the afterglow; i love this little line it's a great image of coming darkness
the singing from the crickets stops, stops is too near stop as a rhyme
as night engulfs her victim, slow. should it be victims

*/ thinking about changing the word "surrounding" in the last line of the first stanza to "eroding" if image comes across nebulous. /*