you start off with consistent meter in the first verse and then lose it in the second onward. try and keep it consistent. the poem is also wordy with a lot of cliches. click on some of the links in my signature to see them better explained.
(10-13-2014, 06:32 AM)gypsyrose Wrote: New to site, feedback welcome. Thanks for reading.
On this dreadful stormy night,
beneath a moon hanging low.
The wind whispers through the pines,
causing shivers down your spine.
The leaves have all but withered,
the birds have all flown.
The snakes come a slither,
the spider's webs are all sown.
As the night grows eerily still,
the only sound a raven's cry.
Suddenly a shadow shoots across the sky,
followed by a frightful shrill.
You want to turn away,
but your curiosity knows no bounds.
However the longer you delay,
may find you underground.
As you near the creepiest of houses,
you are filled with dread and doubt.
But on the door you rap, rap, rap,
and Trick or Treat you scream and shout.
Happy Halloween