The Bumper Sticker

[Brownlie]

All in all you did a pretty good job here, but I'll go through it.

Our neighbor, Jeff, is sitting out. - I would end this with a period. It seems, a more prosaic grammar seems to prevent hiccups in the rhythm. The end word also feels somewhat strained for the rhyme.
While drizzle falls, he leans and stares
as water gurgles down the spout
beside the window I look through. - The "beside" seems a little intrusive.


The man has sat there now for years,
not more than fifty feet away.
But still, my mother has her fears…
he talks and laughs up to the sky.

He brings his two pet snakes outside,
and lets them slither on a branch
he found on Assateague and tied --Too many ands reduce the meaning here.
up in the roof over his porch.

When it stops raining, I’m sure he’ll
be working on his Cherokee,
which wears a crackling, but still -- I would change wear to a more appropriate word for a bike, but that is my opinion.
there, “Veteran” bumper sticker.

For me, the poem gets strongest in the details. If I were editing this, I would watch out for sentences that would read awkward in a paragraph of prose. To me, that means they have to use grammar to be clear, and they have to have cohesion. I think some people compare paragraphs to stanzas.  Thanks for posting.