10-11-2014, 11:57 PM
Owl wrote:
"I pondered on the idea that it might be a bit problematic because you aren't initially addressing what point of view this poem is supposed to be read from, but the occasional variety of POV's here actually works, because it doesn't necessarily distract the reader from the main events taking place."
I disagree. I found the strobing POV in S1 to be intensely distracting.
L2's imperative verb implies a "you," but suddenly on the next line, an "I" takes over. I'm guessing there's an error there
Additionally, the poem doesn't start at S1, but rather at the title, "The Tide." I found it awfully jarring to jump from an image of the sea to an image of a wolf . . .
Macro question--this is a poem about meth addiction, right?
"I pondered on the idea that it might be a bit problematic because you aren't initially addressing what point of view this poem is supposed to be read from, but the occasional variety of POV's here actually works, because it doesn't necessarily distract the reader from the main events taking place."
I disagree. I found the strobing POV in S1 to be intensely distracting.
L2's imperative verb implies a "you," but suddenly on the next line, an "I" takes over. I'm guessing there's an error there
Additionally, the poem doesn't start at S1, but rather at the title, "The Tide." I found it awfully jarring to jump from an image of the sea to an image of a wolf . . .
Macro question--this is a poem about meth addiction, right?
A yak is normal.