insanity

[cidermaid]

Hi you might lik to re-post this at th top of your post with th original poem, I nearly missed the edit you had posted.
I would like a bit of puctuation to help me with the read.  It is not essential but I would prefer it.   (I've added some in bold for your considration).

Don't you dare
contaminate me with filthy thoughts,
and kill me with piercing words,    not sure you need the and.
tease me with deceiving fingers, or
watch me with judgmental eyes,
inhale me with thick breath
and  or smother me with swollen lips. 
Most of all,   Think you could have most of all on seperate line.
don't you fucking dare
call me crazy
when you are the one causing my insanity.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I love the intensity of the rant quality in this one.  I think that the way the lines run on reinforces th motion of the read.
Hope the suggstions help...but remember it is always your poem.
Thanks for sharing AJ.


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