Prey

[Brownlie]

Devoured by wolves, -- Who was devoured by wolves?
suffer their hollow call.
I am pulled under,
the terrible deep enthralls. -- Too many adjectives and enthralls is a bit too abstract.
 
A tide of jaws,
stills the marrow.
Slick hides sever sweet escape. ---ssssss, I will admit the k in there is kind of cool, but it seems a little nonsensical.
I burn to breath,
a jagged pill promise. -- I wouldn't simply lament over drug use. If you say do it, do it, do it to represent an internal drive, maybe.
I take the bait.
 


Devoured by wolves, -- Who was devoured by wolves?
suffer their hollow call.
I am pulled under,
the terrible deep enthralls. -- Too many adjectives and enthralls is a bit too abstract.
 
Starving teeth shatter oaths,
mercilessly hacked into bone. 
The wolves are crawling fast, --- Now you could stick plenty of words in those bolded slots.
with claws they burrow parasitic,
under tortured skin.
 
Steeled for the kill,
the pack closes in.
Savages howling for a laugh,
ensnaring sinful wings,
razor back hackles pierce the heart.

All in all, the poem was a little incoherent, but I did think there were some good halting sounds.