In Love with The Coffeeshop Girl

[b.abraham]

Thanks, Mercedes! This is also really great feedback! I think I might have gotten a little excited revising this one before posting it, I'm definitely going to cut back on some words in the next draft. Definitely nixing "things like", and I think I've figured out how to format the dialogue so that it flows better. I also might scrap the parentheticals, I liked the idea but I might save it for something else. The second draft is probably going to be about half as long!