|
Pollen - haiku??
|
10-06-2014, 08:10 PM
Hey Tom, I don't know much about haiku (not saying this is one), but I like it, especially the alliteration, slant rhyme and play on 'lift.' My only advise would be to put a comma after sneeze and use the en dash after seeds for pause between the concrete images and the 'tissue sales'. Cheers/Chris
My new watercolor: 'Nightmare After Christmas'/Chris
|
|
« Next Oldest | Next Newest »
|
| Messages In This Thread |
|
Pollen - haiku?? - by tomoffing - 10-06-2014, 07:48 PM
RE: Pollen - haiku?? - by ChristopherSea - 10-06-2014, 08:10 PM
RE: Pollen - haiku?? - by billy - 10-06-2014, 11:17 PM
RE: Pollen - haiku?? - by Tamara - 10-07-2014, 12:33 AM
RE: Pollen - haiku?? - by Tiger the Lion - 10-07-2014, 08:32 AM
RE: Pollen - haiku?? - by just mercedes - 10-07-2014, 08:46 AM
|
