10-E Looking Left at LA

[cidermaid]

Hi,  I know nothing of LA or it's enviroments, but I am thinking that this is a sort of mix between strret view and satalite image (like the zoom on google maps).  This was the interpretation I gave to the unusual line spacing at the start and the end.
Initially i was a bit distracted / irritated by this on the first read but as I worked back through it it gained relevance and I sort of like it.
This one has a bit of a global worming voice undertoning it to my ear...again which normally is a turn off for me but this has a detached edge to it so it works for me.

Los Angeles hides   was this line originally the title.  think it might work better conneted to the other two lines.

 
            its children
in an ash specked blanket,    Nice image overall.  Made me think of smog or clouds.
 
clammy tadpoles
                        float along
                                    edgeless   Again really like these lines. On the read i am taking this reinfoces the heat / smog image (possibly a comma here after edgeless)
in indifferent   Like the use of indifferent, but no idea what cobalt is in referance to.  (Best guess the colour of the sea / sky)
 
cobalt –
 
a local’s soul   don't like the use of local's soul feels out in a city view setting and also soul is overused in poetry.  (tired)  
is made of nickel
and pleather,        nice image of hard and artificial also like the brevity of the sharper focused look at street life.

 
Venice Blvd is
clogged with tumors;   not sure if this was a referance to vehicles or the people but either way it works for me as a picture for a sicknees in society.  tumors has been used many times in creative writing generally, but within the setting of this poem it was okay to my read.
 
desperate is a city    the syntax come across a bit odd / stilted here.   But overall really think these two lines are working hard to pull the images of self obsessed, shallow lives lived at the cost of real beauty.
frowning in a mirror,
 
four
            million and
                                    alone.       Beyond the idea of the focus on the map drawing back out again, these lines suggest that LA living is a lonely experiance.  However I am not a great fan of this as an ending it feels more like you got bored of writing this one and forced a quick ending.

Overall an interesting read that gave me some fresh images so a good read.