10-05-2014, 01:06 PM
'jazz notes the blues we had unsung'
The 'we had' is the crux of the whole damn thing as it entails an introspection
without which we wouldn't be aware of what had been left unsung.
Sure, 'jazz notes blues unsung' and 'jazz notes unsung blues' work just fine
if you're defining some aspect of jazz; but as a poem I much prefer the depth,
the expanded levels of meaning added by the 'we had'.
P.S. The above poem works splendidly as a Marlene Mountain one line English haiku
(she pretty much defined them). One line English haiku are not English haiku...
(and what a useless thing for me to say).
"If you call an orange an apple long enough you're right." - David Barnhart
The 'we had' is the crux of the whole damn thing as it entails an introspection
without which we wouldn't be aware of what had been left unsung.
Sure, 'jazz notes blues unsung' and 'jazz notes unsung blues' work just fine
if you're defining some aspect of jazz; but as a poem I much prefer the depth,
the expanded levels of meaning added by the 'we had'.
P.S. The above poem works splendidly as a Marlene Mountain one line English haiku
(she pretty much defined them). One line English haiku are not English haiku...
(and what a useless thing for me to say).
"If you call an orange an apple long enough you're right." - David Barnhart
a brightly colored fungus that grows in bark inclusions