10-04-2014, 06:06 PM
If one were going to drop "we had", shouldn't they also drop the "the" ? I would also cap the "J" in jazz to denote that it is a personification and thus is able to "note".
"Jazz notes blues unsung"
The shorter version is more intellectual. The original allows a human connection because it includes the "we", showing some kind of human interaction, which allows an emotional connection. There are positive aspects of both.
I think it would be fun if you wrote three versions and maybe something along the lines of "Jazz notes Blues".
Just a thought. bena always does that when she gives me her evil eye. Now what am I supposed to do with that!
It's like Frozone said,
"Superladies? They're always trying to tell you their secret identity... think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I say, "Girl, I don't wanna know about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're, uh... S-Super, Mega, Ultra Lightning Babe, that's alright with me. I'm good... I'm good. "
dale
"Jazz notes blues unsung"
The shorter version is more intellectual. The original allows a human connection because it includes the "we", showing some kind of human interaction, which allows an emotional connection. There are positive aspects of both.
I think it would be fun if you wrote three versions and maybe something along the lines of "Jazz notes Blues".
Just a thought. bena always does that when she gives me her evil eye. Now what am I supposed to do with that!
It's like Frozone said,
"Superladies? They're always trying to tell you their secret identity... think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I say, "Girl, I don't wanna know about your mild-mannered alter ego or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're, uh... S-Super, Mega, Ultra Lightning Babe, that's alright with me. I'm good... I'm good. "
dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.