Colors of Emotion

[StanleyZ]

I wrote this today, I'm not a good writer and I know it. I've rarely written anything, and nothing that I have ever in my life felt this connected to.


Blue and red swim together.
Like the mouth of a river, and ocean.  
They will be together, always and forever.
Mixing and churning, like a sweet potion.  

Every time I look upon it, my emotions become a raging sea.
Where I once thought I fit, now doesn't seem so free.  
This feeling I get is new and real.
Time wins this bet.
My walls, they seem to peel.

Blue, and red. Well in respects to emotions I think of blue as being intellectual, and manipulating, and red as chaotic and passionate, or maybe I just play too much Magic The Gathering... As an image these colors seem ambiguous. These colors might mean the world to you, but if they don't mean anything to the readers, we will never feel the same way that you do towards this piece. I feel blue and red are equal (as far as being colors), but even at the mouth the ocean is much larger than the river. The river isn't flowing with the ocean, it's flowing to it. Given the fact that this idea of color is so balanced the imagery of river to ocean works, but not on every level. Always and forever? Don't say that, unless you are on the payroll at Disney, or Hallmark. I do like the idea of mixing like a potion. The strongest part of using the word potion is the fact that it has a strong association with emotion through rhyme, and even more than that. Potions effect emotions, and when you hear one, hearing the other reinforces that in your mind. That is my favorite part of this poem. A bit cliche, but for your first piece this shows potential. I can see you have chosen certain words on purpose, that is good. Keep doing that, and don't be afraid to fail. Failure is the most important part of being a writer.