August

[just mercedes]

I like the way your edit has tightened your poem. For me the use of driving, listening, remembering, swallowing, give a sing-song rhythm to the poem that puts me off a bit. These are moments when action happens, and you want your reader's attention to focus here, not be lulled to sleep. I do like the way the repetition of night in the final stanza hooks your poem back around to the start again. Simple images that convey a lot more than they say. Well done!