10-01-2014, 11:18 PM
I like this a lot. It's simple and effective. I hope these small notes help and make sense.
(10-01-2014, 09:42 AM)bwasroy Wrote: August – 5th Draft
Say goodbye,
driving home under the moon, maybe an adjective for the moon, either to contrast or support her "cold hands."
remembering her cold hands.
She said: Don’t waste autumn
smoking and staring at your shoes.
Say goodbye, listening to radio static
and swallowing pills until you fall
onto pillows like a body stumbles from a ledge.
Goodbye, broken glass.
Goodbye, hand towels and carving knife.
Goodbye. She said, colon, not comma, as you did in the second stanzaWrite if you can,
and don’t worry about the night,
the night was always too dark for me.
Let's put Rowdy on top of the TV and see which one of us can throw a hat on him first. 
