Inside the mind of a puppy (My first poem)
#11
(08-20-2014, 01:16 AM)UberWilhelm Wrote:  Hi all.

 I recently took a creative writing course and decided that I enjoy writing poetry.  Here is one of my first ones that was inspired by my new puppy and I hope it doesn't completely suck. After reading through a bunch of the posts in here I see I have lots to learn.  Thanks for reading!

Inside the mind of a puppy

I see you there ball, mocking me, calling
I take up the chase eyes locked on the prize
You fly through the air gently, now falling   (sounds a little bit cliche but i may be wrong)
How lucky you are, soaring through the skies

You bounce and roll trying to make a break
But I see you, have you locked in my sights
You flail around not sure which path to take
A few steps and my jaws will hold you tight.

You roll to a stop accepting your fate
I am close enough now to smell your fear (the ball has fear?)
I pounce fast for I can no longer wait
The object of my hunt so very near

Victory!  In my mouth my prey sits firm
Head high, my prize held up for all to see
The quest now over my heart starts to yearn
The thrill of the chase washes over me

I will deliver you to my master
He will pick you up and throw you again
With every breath my heart beats faster
With a bark I cry, let the hunt begin!

Intresting topic to write about entering the mind of a puppy.
The first three lines of your stanza look like they need periods.
(Generally some punctuation errors).
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Messages In This Thread
RE: Inside the mind of a puppy (My first poem) - by Bleumeon - 08-31-2014, 08:03 PM
RE: Inside the mind of a puppy (My first poem) - by RichPy - 09-26-2014, 05:06 AM
RE: Inside the mind of a puppy (My first poem) - by RonFoReezy - 09-26-2014, 09:43 AM
RE: Inside the mind of a puppy (My first poem) - by Mwaba don - 10-01-2014, 05:17 PM
RE: Inside the mind of a puppy (My first poem) - by moe091 - 10-04-2014, 09:07 AM



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