10-01-2014, 04:46 AM
(09-30-2014, 08:12 PM)vrryan Wrote: Hey, you've got nice symbolism on your poem. You could'v make the Title shorter and understandable so the readers' won't be reading a long boring title. Your 'now's are redundant. I think your "5:30 in the evening" isn't really that important, and after the reed is a ";" and you are still using "and" on the next line."Nice symbolism." You can do better than that. What symbols stuck out to you? Where do you think the writer drew from? You said the title is boring. Elaborate. I personally dig the title...but I like REM. It's not a bad thing to just say "I enjoyed the read" in the proper section.
I'm not a good critique so I'm very sorry if I had a mistake on giving crits.
sorry if I'm harsh...no amount of negative criticism will convince a writer to stop writing. I do have a tendency to "kill the bunny" and I'm sorry about that.