Prey

[BenjaminShaw]

Devoured by wolves, Jumps right into the poem with a shocking image... well played
suffer their hollow call.
I am pulled under, maybe no comma after under... you have a tendency to put a comma and period after every stanza but sometimes it isn't needed... I see what your trying to go for however: short, sharp stanzas... this is just my preference
the terrible deep enthralls.
 
A tide of jaws, I agree that this image could use some work, but on my initial read I was actually quite fond of it... I thought of a pack of wolves. Was that what you were trying to portray?
stills the marrow.
Slick hides sever sweet escape. I love this line!
I burn to breath, do you mean I burn to breathe?
a jagged pill promise. I don't like the word jagged
I take the bait.
 
Starving teeth shatter oaths,
mercilessly hacked into bone.
The wolves they crawl within,
with claws they burrow parasitic,
under tortured skin.
 
Steeled for the kill,
the pack closes in. You've been using better language than this line. It's short and to the point but among your other lines it falls short. Maybe find a more interesting word for "closes in," I think there are some.
Savages howling for a laugh, this evokes a great image
ensnaring sinful wings,
razor back hackles pierce the heart. nice ending