Hand eye co-ordination

[Keith]

She just stepped out!
A pale blue Ford slammed on
sending her into the air;
no sound came out, only a deep thud.
Tights were torn at the knees
blood darkened in the nylon.
Asking to go home for a cup of tea
I took it to be a good sign,
embarrassed because she’d lost control.
 
The phone box stunk of piss
handset half melted by some Zippo.
In the panic my lips touched
a gobbed on receiver, 
I thought of AIDS and swallowing spittoons.
Ambulance please,
there’s been an accident, Park road shops
no they don’t have fucking numbers
hurry please, she’s in pain.
 
Her name was Eileen,
it was embroidered on the pink slippers
in which she shuffled to the perspex off licence,
twenty B&H and a half bottle of whiskey
every Friday night with sausage chips and gravy,
but this was a Thursday and she’d run out of milk
and I couldn't stop her.

Wow. You certainly told a story here, and it had a powerful impact on me as a reader.
Okay so we start off with an abrupt exclamation, and it is in response to a terrible accident.
The Ford slammed on, at first it took me a second but it could mean slammed on the gas petal,
Or maybe the breaks to no avail. The image of nylon and tights make this woman feel young and beautiful
One thing I really love is that the whole description of the accident is scatter. It all happens so fast
I feel like it's a police report taken from a frantic loved one, but that adds to the sudden chaos of
What is happening. Your structure works well to reinforce the craziness of a tragedy like this.
then the phone booth. The narrator is now viewed as a loved one of the victim, which is grounds for
The explicit language. No. Nothing about this poem is mild, and in that situation I probably wouldn't
Want to look for the nearest adress number either. You did well in capturing that real aspect of the situation.
Then tge poem ends in tragedy , but not before a little unsettling irony. Eileen had a name. Suddenly she
Could be someone you know, and even worse, she had a routine. Not only that, but tonight she broke her
Routine, going out on a Thursday by chance, talk about wrong place at the wrong time. It could happen
To any poor soul, and that I think is the theme here. Very well written.

One thing. I could love this just as much with out the bit about the tea. It works fine and all,
I'm just not crazy about it. The other images had a more intense impact, then again less intense
Is probably what this poor girl had on the mind at the time

Thank you StanleyZ for your detailed reply you see it all and I really enjoy reading the readers take on a poem it helps me understand how certain words or phrases can impact the was something is read. I agree with you on the Tea line it is a bit bland but wanted it to show how people react in these situations. I will have a think for the edit. Best Keith