09-28-2014, 12:20 PM
(09-27-2014, 11:11 AM)Starbeam Wrote: I pray.The period in the lines give it a staccato effect. But the poem is ridden with cliches. I like the spiritual vibe but maybe you could rework it with better word choices and tighten it by removing the redundant words and lines.
I breathe.
I feel the blanket of shame
Entrapped in a stunning stress break point
Layered from years of lies
Lies from the entangled mesh of a smile/frown twist.
Years of forgetting that I have a voice.
Years of forgetting that I have my choice.
On my knees beneath His sky, I rise.
Refusing to regret one step in truth.
I turn around embraced by my Creator, my Father, my God.
Unwrapped to my life-breathed face.
I know His voice, I feel my choice
I forget my pain and beat my heart.
Consume His Love forever light
My breast expands, a sanctuary, now.
I can forget, He has and did.
I live, the infinite - Heaven IS.

