Mwaba Don

[ellajam]

She moves fluidly on a circular stage.
Her style flawless,
she becomes the sparkle as the audience fades. (nice starting line. sparkle sounds cliche and not pretty strong)
Slowly I become attractively restless
as my fear of expression fades. ( is repetetion of fades intentional here? And attractively restless? I don't get what it means.)

I have to hold on to this moment of moving beauty.
I cannot afford to darkle,
So I hold my breath to soundly watch the beautiful dancer. (Nice stanza. Check for cliche though)

She is so beautiful and feminine (She must be but couldn't you use some other expressions to show us how beautiful and feminine she is?)
yet I seem to capture the masculine execution of her dance,
she is a Perfect Muse, expressing her poetry in Dance ( nice ending)

I like this poem, you have captured a beautiful moment nicely but can be enhanced by furthur editing.

I deleted the above post in error, this is the best I can do at restoring it. Apologies, ella