09-13-2014, 11:12 AM
(09-13-2014, 09:31 AM)Pyxx Wrote: Devoured by wolves,The title has nothing to with the poem itself, which is odd. "A tide of jaws" just doesn't work for me; what about tides and vicious jaws are similar? Where was that connection made? Also, a lot of the poem seems overly poeticized..often too wordy and flowery, yet adding little to the poem. Keep at it, there are some very interesting phrases in here; I'd be interested to find out what you meant by "jagged pill promise."
suffer their hollow call.
I am pulled under,
the terrible deep enthralls.
A tide of jaws,
stills the marrow.
Slick hides sever sweet escape.
I burn to breath,
a jagged pill promise.
I take the bait.
Starving teeth shatter oaths,
mercilessly hacked into bone.
The wolves they crawl within,
with claws they burrow parasitic,
under tortured skin.
Steeled for the kill,
the pack closes in.
Savages howling for a laugh,
ensnaring sinful wings,
razor back hackles pierce the heart.
"Where there are roses we plant doubt.
Most of the meaning we glean is our own,
and forever not knowing, we ponder."
-Fernando Pessoa
Most of the meaning we glean is our own,
and forever not knowing, we ponder."
-Fernando Pessoa