09-04-2014, 08:34 PM
try and be specific, flesh it out and
As a novice poet;
try not to use words or phrases that mean little, love, hope, hate, emotions etc
try to tell the poem with imagery, use a simile or metaphor, use other poetic device. All of which can be found here.
what is written could have been written with a very few lines and have more impact.
As a novice poet;
try not to use words or phrases that mean little, love, hope, hate, emotions etc
try to tell the poem with imagery, use a simile or metaphor, use other poetic device. All of which can be found here.
what is written could have been written with a very few lines and have more impact.
(09-01-2014, 03:08 PM)simmon Wrote: Let's hail to our Hero! who his the [hero] and what did he do and did [why] he do it. No need for [let's]
We sing, we praise, and we fight for him! for who?
For the sake of children… for the sake of tomorrow…
Our heart is given, to the glorious one. who is [the one?]
It's not a vote that we give, but it is our trust! no need for [it is]
Our hands cover in blood! Our body falls to the ground!
We dream about hope, yet wake up in the darker day… what does hope mean, tell us what is hoped
Oh, how foolish we are… to fight for nothing.
Now that we remember… about the day we forget…
Our enemies… once we were brothers…
Such a sin we’ve commit… this regret which we’ve bare…
All this for glorious one, who don't give a damn!