"Hero"

[ellajam]

Thank You Ellajam and Bunx! This is my very first english poem, so i am quite worry.

It is true that this poem is about war, but the people did not fight any foreign enemy. In fact, they fight with their own neighbors or people with the same religion and nationality.

This is the result of two political parties in a certain country. Both side possess powerful charismatic, and since that country have several political issue for a long time, those two groups almost like a savior to them. There are many time when people compare the leader of each parties with historical or mythical hero. However, it is only natural that those politicians did not fight for people, and things start to get so ugly to the point where many people die from fighting with police, military, and people who stand for another party.

That why I mention about "the vote", "The day we forgot ", and i use the word "glorious" since the heroes (or hero for the guy in the poem) possess kind of spiritual value in some people point of view.

For now, I will run some grammar check with a friend who good in this area. Again, thank you for the comments. I am truely appreciate, since I am very new to english pome. Therefore, your comments are more than welcome. ^ ^

PS. I may not be able to contribute much to this site for now due to my lack of experience, but I will try to get improve little by little.

Hi again. Instead of explaining your poem you may want to think about how to edit it so that it more clearly achieves your goal.

Giving critique is necessary if you want to use this site. Maybe you could run some poems through an online translator, think about them and then comment.

I like this. Being a military veteran myself, I can relate to this. Keep up the good work and polish it. I look forward to reading your next edit.

Hi PHTj, glad to have you here, but your comment does nothing to help the op with his next edit. In the important threads section of this forum are a few threads to help you with critiques. It is a skill of it own and fun to learn. Please try to improve.

ella/mod