First Haiku

[Magpie]

Thanks everyone! As to some peoples comments about shortening it down further, don't the parameters of a haiku require a syllable count of 5-7-5?

The 5-7-5 syllable count used to be the way to write haiku but that is now considered to be outdated and because of better understanding in the Japanese language people now see that the 5-7-5 was never a particularly accurate representation.
The key thing to go for is brevity and conciseness. Some people still use a syllable count of 3-5-3 or 3-4-3 to be honest the syllable count is the least important aspect of any haiku. A better marker for length would be to go for the "One-breath" aspect of haiku, so that the whole Haiku can comfortably be said with one normal breath.

For years I wrote 3 lined 17 syllable poems and I thought that they were haiku. It wasn't until I came here that I eventually changed my habit of 17 syllables. So seeing that you've only wrote one haiku then the first thing I would recommend above anything else in haiku is to forget all about 17 syllables and 5-7-5 leave that to people in blog world, it keeps them happy.