Mama 'Ku

[Tamara]

i liked the second version better. but usually haiku is written without a title so you need to figure out where 'crowded bus' would fit in.

i can't think of the options to make it better. maybe something like:

pregnant and preoccupied
she gives up her seat
crowded bus

or the other way

crowded bus
pregnant and preoccupied
she gives up her seat