Mama 'Ku

[Tiger the Lion]

crowded bus
pregnant
preoccupied
she gives up her seat

You have a lot in here that gives the reader clear images without forcing the detail. As a reader I chose to think the person pregnant gave up her seat and then I wondered why she was preoccupied. Again as a reader I chose to think it was because she was pregnant and it was a problem. Just great, a soap opera in four lines. Best Keith

Thank you Keith. I can never get away from ambiguity, but I'm working on doing it compact and concise. Your read is encouraging. Further, I am considering...

Crowded Bus

pregnant
preoccupied
she gives up her seat