08-31-2014, 10:36 AM
man this did bust me up 
nothing like some funny poetry.
a critique because the poem is worth it:
my last impression was that the end should be better. the ending comes up like that bare white behind. it's just your great rhymes are not followed through. plus it would be better to end on the funniest note possible, as a climax. might as well cut the last four lines off, really.
favorite lines:
the ropes and floats my lucky charms.
entered the water like a toad,
heheh
nothing like some funny poetry.
a critique because the poem is worth it:
my last impression was that the end should be better. the ending comes up like that bare white behind. it's just your great rhymes are not followed through. plus it would be better to end on the funniest note possible, as a climax. might as well cut the last four lines off, really.
favorite lines:
the ropes and floats my lucky charms.
entered the water like a toad,
heheh
"The best way out is always through."-Robert Frost
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