08-27-2014, 09:57 AM
First, I love this, the sweet little trochee and loving pitter patter. I'm more confident in your capability than my own, but I can't resist a word of warning.
Be Careful What You Wish For
They said I had an inborn knack
for natural rhythm with some rhyme;
I might be slightly less the hack
if I would spend a bit more time
to learn the tricks of metered form.
"You'll be a whiz." they slyly said,
"With practice it becomes the norm."
Now all's iambic in my head
but metaphor has flown the coop,
my sonics take a second seat
to meter's steady rise and swoop;
I blather to a brutal beat
knee-deep in my iambic trash,
my own poetic burn and crash.
Be Careful What You Wish For
They said I had an inborn knack
for natural rhythm with some rhyme;
I might be slightly less the hack
if I would spend a bit more time
to learn the tricks of metered form.
"You'll be a whiz." they slyly said,
"With practice it becomes the norm."
Now all's iambic in my head
but metaphor has flown the coop,
my sonics take a second seat
to meter's steady rise and swoop;
I blather to a brutal beat
knee-deep in my iambic trash,
my own poetic burn and crash.
billy wrote:welcome to the site. make it your own, wear it like a well loved slipper and wear it out. ella pleads:please click forum titles for posting guidelines, important threads. New poet? Try Poetic DevicesandWard's Tips