A Love Armed

[metalfan91]

The punctuation here is essentially random.

First line - okay
Third line - why capitalize "To"?
Third line - also that's not a sentence, why a period?
Fifth line - why not "A friendship, defending itself" or "A friendship defending itself", I don't get the point of these periods.
Eighth line - Why capitalize "That"?
Eighth line - I dislike the phrase "unarmored hearts", it's one of the phrases that sounds like it should mean more than it really does
Eleventh line - Why is "And fear" a whole other sentence?
Twelfth line - You've already used "Armed" as a description, this seems tired as a repitition

I'm sorry but I have absolutely no idea what this poem is about so I can't even approach it on a thematic level.

Hold on there. That is a lot to respond to.

All the capitalization is due to my lack of poetic skill in the technical sense; like believing every line starts with a capital letter. My bad. I'm sorry if these technical failings ruin the poem for you.

"And fear" is another sentence because it reflects the way I pretend it's not there in daily life. But the fear is there, below and evasive.

"it's one of the phrases that sounds like it should mean more than it really does"

Is that necessarily a bad thing? Unarmored hearts is a fancy way of connoting innocence.

"You've already used "Armed" as a description, this seems tired as a reptition (sic)"

I don't know if you've come to this seeking to find all the ways to hack away at this piece critically, but it seems you missed the mark on this. I use "unarmored" and "armed". Two different words, one signifying defense and the other offence.

Anyway, thanks for taking the time to read and respond to this.

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I'm a fan of figurative poetry and this is a great attempt. Although other users have said otherwise I enjoyed the vagueness of some lines as it allowed you to make of it as you wish. Overall the feel I got from reading thus that you wished to covey the intangible elements of being human. Such as love, friendship and anger. The sense of religion you create also came to mind.

Thank you for your reassuring words. I think the vagueness gives a certain freedom and flexibility. Much of what I write is like that, and it is polarizing.

I like that you got a religious sense out of this, because that's how I felt writing this. (Although there is value in being skeptical, I think we are innately born with religious feelings that can manifest as feelings of awe and wonder).

Thanks again for reading and responding.